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[forceforlight]

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(Please note if you are messaging Nightwing's official inbox or contacting Dick Grayson)

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[forceforlight]

No problem. I don't see any purpose in making it difficult.

[batsymbol]

I appreciate it.

[hackingyoursensors]

[ Dick is familiar with Central as a whole, but not the specific areas. So when he heads to the location, he has a picture in his head of the layout of the buildings but not exactly what's there. As he approaches-- dressed in street clothes and still wearing a hoodie in the dead of summer-- and gets his answer. He slows a moment when he sees the sign. Circus skills?

Once he gets closer, he waves. Dick himself looks a little tired and strained, but only to people who really know what to look for.

He is, admittedly, curious about the school, but ]

It'd be best to find somewhere I can talk about family secrets without anyone listening in.

[forceforlight]

Ah. It's going to be one of THOSE conversations, huh?

[Dick nods as Haley runs straight over to give the younger Dick a sniff, tail wagging fast enough to just be a blur behind her.]

Come on. Cafe, then. Have you eaten yet?

[Though, really, at this age, the answer could be yes and he'd still be hungry.]

[hackingyoursensors]

[ He kneels down to pet Haley, his expression easing a little. ]

Not since this morning. [ He straightens, putting his hands in his pockets. He glances at the other Dick, deciding to clarify. ]

I'm not here to vent or complain. It's me, not them.

[forceforlight]

Then we'll get some food.

[It's less a cafe that he heads toward and more of a diner. Not the same one TJ frequents, but nearby and run by a couple of people from New York. Who happen to be just fine with a puppy in the diner. Dick requests a table at the back, giving them some privacy as Haley settles under the table.]

So. What's up?

[hackingyoursensors]

[ Dick lets the older him talk to the server; instead, he just observes. It's a typical diner that could be found anywhere in the States, which is always a little strange to him. Technically, he's on an alien world (in an alien reality?) but so many things are the same.

He's overthinking again.

Dick sits across from his older self. It takes him a moment to find the words to answer the question. ]

I'm still having a hard time getting used to everything.

[forceforlight]

[Dick lets him gather himself. After all, it's not the sort of thing that's always easy to talk about. And, frankly, they're bad at asking for help. So he grabs the menus from the table, handing one to the kid while letting him think.]

[Then he nods, setting the menu down.]

It's not really surprising. Everything's kinda been upended for you. All the people you'd normally look to for assistance either aren't here or aren't what you remember, right?

[hackingyoursensors]

[ He expected the other Dick to understand but being clocked that fast is still a little surprising. But that's why he's here. Who better to help him than himself? ]

Wow, you're good. [ He sighs. ] I feel like I'm starting all over again, like when I moved to Gotham.

[ "Moved to Gotham" sounds nice, compared to "lost everything." ]

[forceforlight]

[Dick's smile is understanding. He knows exactly what the teen ISN'T saying, after all.]

I may not be Tim levels of intelligent, but I've had all the same training.

[He's a detective still, at the end of the day. Just acknowledges that Tim and Bruce will always be better in that respect. He's no slouch on his own.]

But. More than that. I've been there myself. Not in a while. And not exactly here. But...it's not easy, finding out you're only the first of many.

[It hadn't been easy when it was Jason who took the mantel. The ones after him had been easier, but he'd had more to say about Tim, Stephanie and Damian.]

In some ways, you are starting again. Only this time, there's a bunch of people who know who you will be and don't know how to handle who you are right now as well.

[hackingyoursensors]

I still don't get it. B taking in kids who need someone? That makes sense. But why "Robin"? There's not exactly a lack of other names to choose from.

[ Dick fiddles absently with the edge of his menu. It sounds childish to say "but that's mine!" The name means something to him, though. The place Robin has at Batman's side does too. ]

[forceforlight]

[All of which, Dick knows. Because it was the same for him.]

[He starts to open his mouth when the waitress comes over. He asks for a few more minutes for food orders, but does order a coffee for himself and lets the younger Dick order his own drink.]

[Once she steps away, he grimaces.]

Honestly? I think part of it was because we were such a good team. There wasn't any idea of B on his own any more. There was always the 'and Robin' tacked on at the end. And when it's been like that for nearly a decade...

[Assuming his double started around the same time Dick himself had. He might not have. Timelines were weird like that.]

[(He should know. He had vague memories of a few ways he'd come to be Robin. It was mostly the age that changed.)]

Victims of our own success, I guess.

[hackingyoursensors]

[ Dick absently orders orange juice, then forces himself to stop fiddling with the menu.

The answer makes sense on one level, sure, but. ]

What about what they wanted? Taking up Robin would mean being compared to me all the time.

[ Maybe not in the League or the Team, but the public might. Dick likes to think he wouldn't be so insecure to do it too. To see his own shortcomings because of his successors' successes. ]

[forceforlight]

[Oh, if only they weren't that insecure. Though Dick tries not to do it with Tim and Damian. He knows he did with Jason.]

[He taps his fingers against the table, considering.]

With Jay, I think it was easier for B. He wasn't looking for a partner at the time, it just kinda fell in his lap. The Robin name and uniform was already there and it was easier to make a new uniform in the same colors. Or maybe use one of my old ones. Jay actually WAS the same size as me for a while.

[It's said with a bit of humor. Because Jason definitely isn't, any more. Not even the younger one.]

I'm afraid I didn't take it as gracefully as I could have. Which was more a detriment to Jay. I don't know that it would have changed anything had I come around earlier, but it might have.

[hackingyoursensors]

[ Dick tries for a smile at the attempt for humor. Jason is unfairly bigger and reminds Dick all the time, though he's just teasing. ]

"Robin" isn't for him to give away. [ He doesn't say it with anger, just understanding. Dick wouldn't mind giving it to someone else, as long as it was his choice. Bruce doing it would hurt.

He looks away for a moment, this time hearing what his other self doesn't say. ]

If Jason blamed you for anything, he wouldn't have taken me in.

[forceforlight]

[It takes a moment to stifle the immediate laughter that bubbled up. Some of it did come out, but Dick's pretty sure he gets it under control fairly quickly.]

He blames me for plenty. A lot of it my fault. He doesn't blame YOU for it, though, which he shouldn't.

[He sits back as the coffee and orange juice arrive. There's even a bowl of water for Haley, which Dick appreciates.]

[He ends up ordering a double cheeseburger and fries. The patrolling always helps with any excess calories. Then he waits before continuing.]

And you're absolutely right. Robin wasn't his to give away. And it made me very angry for a very long time. And Jay ended up getting part of that because of things he couldn't control.

[He's not proud of how he reacted to that. But he hadn't had warning or choice in the matter. Dickie is right in that he'd handle it better if he could be in on the choice.]

[hackingyoursensors]

[ Dick just orders a grilled cheese sandwich and fries. Aside from not sleeping, his appetite has been so-so. Not being able to patrol like normal doesn't help. ]

Jason told me that your relationship is complicated, but I didn't know it was this complicated.

He said that to try to drive me away when we met, by the way. He should've known better.

[ Trying to push Dick away or scare him off never works. It just makes him wonder why and stick around to find out. ]

[forceforlight]

You'd think so, but he keeps underestimating us.

[Even after every thing, Dick does try to keep his hand out. In case Jason ever needs it.]

[Which is why Dick leans in, looking the teen in the eyes.]

Don't EVER tell Jay this, but it's one of the ways he's most like B. Our B, at least.

[The things Dickie didn't need to know about right now.]

It's not that there aren't good memories, sometimes thanks to Alfred reaching out to me, sometimes due to me doing the reaching out. But there weren't enough of them and then...

[Dick pauses, then frowns.]

How much do you know about what happened with Jay and the clown?

[hackingyoursensors]

[ Dick listens with a serious expression on his face. When asked about the Joker, he sighs and his expression turns sad. ]

Just that the Joker killed him.

[forceforlight]

[Dick nods, folding his hands.]

I wasn't on planet when it happened. Sometimes I wonder if...things would have been different if I had been. If Jay'd thought he could come to me or the Titans when things went south with B.

Losing Jay...it made things rougher with me and B for a while. But then TJ came to me, wanting me to go back to being Robin because B was losing himself. That he would always need a Robin. And...he wasn't wrong. But by that point, I was established as my new name. I couldn't go back to being Robin. It would be a step back. So I offered it to him. And made a promise to myself that I'd never let what was going on with me and B get between me being a good big brother to him.

[He takes a sip of his coffee. Giving himself a moment.]

I won't say it's always easy. In a lot of ways, TJ has outstripped me. He's a better detective than I am. He's crazy smart. He's not the best fighter out of us, but he can hold his own and he can out think even Ra's al Ghul.

Jay's a better brawler. He's more willing to get out there and get things done physically. He's good at getting information out of people in low places and blending in there.

Steph's nearly as smart as Tim. Great at puzzles. And she's a world class shit talker. She's great at misdirection, getting people to look one way when she gets around their defenses.

And Little D is a little shit. But he's coming into his own.

[Dick leans forward again, hands loose and expression empathetic. Because he's been there himself.]

But you know what none of them are, Dick?

[hackingyoursensors]

[ He listens carefully, just letting it sit for a moment. Maybe things would be different for him. Maybe Bruce would listen, maybe Jason would have backup against the Joker. Dick tries not to ruminate on it. Here and now, he can listen. He can try.

The more the other Dick talks, the more he realizes that the other Dick has seen through him. With a quiet sigh. ]

What's that?

[ There's a tone to his voice: better be really convincing because I'm nowhere near convinced. ]

[forceforlight]

The best Robin.

[Dick raises an eyebrow at that.]

Don't get me wrong. We aren't, either. You and me? We're the first. The standard. The "Golden Boy", as Jay likes to remind me so much. [There's an eye roll, but only because it annoys him to be called that. Even if he knows it's kinda true.] We're the one that the others are going to be compared to, but none of us are the best. We're Robin. All of us get to decide what that means for us.

[hackingyoursensors]

[ Yeah he's not really feeling the pick-me-up pep talk. ]

Hooray, I showed up first. That's not an accomplishment.

[ Silly of him to think he's special at all. ]

[forceforlight]

[Dick huffs out a breath.]

I've had twelve more years to get used to this. Eight since Jay took up the cape. [He grimaces.] I've been Nightwing nearly as long as I was Robin at this point.

[Nobody do the math on that. Except Dick, who already knows.]

It's not that you're not special. It's also not that you're not a fantastic Robin, because you are. But you're not going to be Robin forever. You're going to be more than that.

[He pauses, considering how to phase what he wants to say. Which gives the waitress a chance to deliver their food. And Dick gets to stall another moment by chewing on a fry.]

I know it's weird, though. Finding out you go from being an only child to having so many younger siblings. And an entire new generation of heroes looking up to you.

[otherflash]

[ wally playfully quirks an eyebrow to say he isn't completely buying what his best friend is selling. ]

I'm still not entirely convinced a helmet isn't needed for that precious head of yours.

[ in truth, it is dick's tendency to try to hold everything together for everyone else at the expense of his own needs that wally worries about the most. ]

But you know what, maybe I'll feel differently with a beer in my hands if you're ready to get this show on the road.