forceforlight | IC Inbox

[Jason hates how tragedy seems to run in the family. Sometimes being a Robin seems like a curse]

He always seems to put up a front that he's got everything under control. Then again, we all do that.

[For Dick, the worst of the tragedy had been before he took up the cape. Jason had tragedy at both ends.]

Tim does it more. He's gotten too used to managing the adults. His parents, sure, but B and I didn't help with that at first. And it's a very useful skill to have with the various Titans. So he's really used to defusing a situation. And if there's nothing to defuse... [He spreads his hands in a shrug.]

[Jason sighs]

He goes into himself instead?

[Dick nods.] Doesn't always mean to. And it's not like he won't fight back if he gets angry, you know? You should have heard him when everybody else thought B was dead and little D could absolutely NOT be left to his own devices.

Everyone has to have their limits. I guess when it comes to B or the rest of the family, that's when he's more riled up. It's taking care of himself that seems to be the problem.

[Though maybe this is a little bit like the pot calling the kettle black]

[The sigh that Dick let out is probably confirmation enough for Jason.]

Not that the rest of us are any better. [According to Alfred. Whose name he is NOT bringing up right now.] He's my brother and I love him. I still want to occasionally shake him until something rattles loose.

You might get that feeling with Robin then.

Something happened when we were talking and it seems like his powers are like a soup-up version of going into himself.

[And boy he's not proud of accidentally triggering that]

[Dick nods at that, taking another drink.]

Good to know. Especially if he ends up living with me. At least if I know about it, it's less likely to catch me by surprise.

[Dryly]

You'll save yourself the literal headache.

[Jason then drinks more coffee. He doesn't like what he has to admit next but it's necessary to avoid another accident and... maybe he needs advice]

Kid was tailing me while I was working. No one warned him ahead of time about how different I am since my Robin days. Then we got talking and I started talking about B and how much I don't agree with his code. I was mad but not at him and I didn't mention the Robin mantle. But it still set him off.

[Dick wrinkles his nose.]

Noted.

And yeah, I can see where it would. Probably some of his earliest memories are his parents being angry at each other. And seeing you, somebody he actually looks up to, being angry at B? I can see where that might have set off a "don't pay attention to me" kind of power.

Except I already knew he was there.

[Jason frowns as he thinks back on the incident]

Maybe because of that, his power triggered some kind of clash? I got a headache and for a moment I forgot he was there and wasn't looking at him. But then I got a hold of my senses again.

If you go by the rules of a lot of games, you can't disappear if you're being looked at. I'm guessing that, yeah, that clash is probably what gave you a headache.

[Dick frowns at that before sipping his coffee. Nearly to the end of it now.] I wonder if it was as uncomfortable on his end as it was on yours. Either way, it's good to know. And it's not really your fault for triggering it, Little Wing. You didn't know.

Yeah, I know.

[It feels almost nice to be called Little Wing again. Though Jason wishes it wasn't in this context. Plus, he still feels shitty about what happened]

He was just as surprised as I was when it happened. He ran off afterwards. After that I talked to Rook to try and work out what the hell that was about. Then I talked to Robin again. It... went better but I'm getting the sense he's gonna keep his distance for a while.

He's skittish and doesn't know what to make of you.

[Which is understandable. And Jason never had to deal with a younger Robin until he'd gotten here. At least his Tim had known about Jason before arriving here.]

He'll get used to you being around and one of us can take some time and explain what's going on between you and B. [That would...probably be Dick.] Give him some time to get settled here and get his head around things that are new to him. Keep the lines of communication open. It'll get better.

[Jason keeps his body language neutral but he's relieved that Dick's giving him the kind of advice he needs without him needing to ask. Besides venting about the Drakes, it's perhaps the other reason why he contacted Dick this time]

Yeah. I told him I'm always open to talk. Just not great that we're getting off on the wrong foot. Was he skittish when he met you and B?

[Dick's always been a problem-solver. He's had to learn with some people to ask whether they want solutions or just to complain, but with this Jason, it's good to know that the advice is wanted.]

He came to me, first. I think partly because I was less intimidating, but also because he was trying to make his case for me to go back to being Robin. I don't think he ever gave himself a chance to be skittish in that instance. And by the time he met B, he already had me in his corner.

[It's where Bruce went wrong with Dick and Jason. Dick didn't even know about Jason until he'd already been made Robin. Dick hadn't been asked and Bruce had been dismissive of Dick's feelings. He'd done his best to get over it for Jason's sake, at least.]

By then you two made the case to B for a new Robin? I can't you see ever thinking about going back.

[Jason's calm for now but he'll never be okay that more kids joined Bruce in being vigilantes, despite his death. He doesn't resent the kids specifically but it's more of the general idea and the angry is only directed at Bruce]

[Dick goes quiet for a long few minutes while drinking his coffee, considering his next words.]

I don't know what he was like in your world, Hood. In both yours and mine, you missed five years. But he was angry, Little Wing. He was so...so damned angry. All the time. I'd go so far as to classify him as suicidal, though you know he'd never admit it.

[Because Jason hadn't been there for the aftermath of what the Joker had done. Not the immediate, at least.]

He was reckless, pushing everybody away. He actually punched me when I confronted him about not contacting me about what happened. I had to learn from one of the Titans that had still been home while the rest of us went to Tamaran, and he only knew because he tried breaking into B's files. Couldn't get in, of course, but also couldn't get anybody to pick up when he called.

[It certainly hadn't helped that Danny was a little ass about it. Dick shouldn't have taken it out on the kid, but it hadn't gone well.]

Rook...he understood better than you or me what he was getting into, at least at first. I knew I couldn't be what B needed any more. But B needed...something to pull him back from the ledge. And if it couldn't be me, I could at least learn from my own mistakes and be there to support the person who could.

[Jason's quiet and tried to keep his temper in as he listens to Dick. He heard part of this story from older Tim and his alternative self when they first met. Now he's getting his older brother's perspective.

It's... Not great hearing how Bruce didn't even tell Dick and how he punched him. As if Jason couldn't think any lower of Bruce. He hates that Tim becoming Robin was the solution to pulling Bruce out of the dark. It's one thing for an adult to be traumatized and struggling; it's another issue to drag a kid into this.

When Dick finishes talking, Jason takes a deep breath and talks. He's not raising his voice but there's a cold anger underneath]

In my world, I did notice B's fighting style changed. It got tougher but not far enough.

[Not enough to kill the Joker]

I don't know if that Nightwing had a big fight with him but they still sometimes work together. They were doing that when they tried to go after me.

I also know there's no third Robin around to play counselor for a damn adult.

I got over it. Eventually. I had to realize that I could never blame him as much as he was blaming himself.

[Bruce had lashed out at him, needing a focus for that blame. Dick just happened to present a good target. There'd been apologies. Eventually.]

I won't say that Rook doesn't do that. [Because they'd all done it, to some extent.] Though at first, it really was more of a case of somebody needing to look after him because the kid was going to get himself killed following us around like he had been. I'm still not sure how he managed for as long as he did. He was close enough to get good pictures, too.

None of us thought a kid would stalk us during night patrols just to take pictures. We were all busy watching out for threats instead.

[And now that Jason knows a little more about the Drakes, it's easy to imagine how Tim could sneak out at night]

He became Robin right afterwards?

Started training as Robin. It was six months before he was allowed out of the cave at all, then another nine or so before B took his eyes off of him.

[Meaning over a year before he could patrol on his own.]

[He pauses a moment before adding:] I was also a lot more hands on with his training than I was with yours. I wasn't going to miss out again.

[There's a slight shift in Jason's body language. He was never angry at Dick for having kept his distance during his time as Robin. But he has to admit that it would've been nice if they had spent more time together. Maybe some things would've turned out differently]

Makes sense. Can't risk having history repeat itself too much.

[Maybe they would have. Maybe Jason would have felt he could call Titans Tower, even if Dick wasn't there. Maybe he would have gone to the Titans instead of going after the Joker on his own.]

[Dick might have gotten another brother out of it, but it doesn't mean he doesn't feel bad about the one he didn't know as well.]

Never let it be said I don't learn from my mistakes.

Heh. Someone in this family eventually has to.

You two ever took the car without the old man around? Like what we did?

[Can't let this conversation about family be entirely about regrets]

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject