forceforlight | IC Inbox

[Dick nods, folding his hands.]

I wasn't on planet when it happened. Sometimes I wonder if...things would have been different if I had been. If Jay'd thought he could come to me or the Titans when things went south with B.

Losing Jay...it made things rougher with me and B for a while. But then TJ came to me, wanting me to go back to being Robin because B was losing himself. That he would always need a Robin. And...he wasn't wrong. But by that point, I was established as my new name. I couldn't go back to being Robin. It would be a step back. So I offered it to him. And made a promise to myself that I'd never let what was going on with me and B get between me being a good big brother to him.

[He takes a sip of his coffee. Giving himself a moment.]

I won't say it's always easy. In a lot of ways, TJ has outstripped me. He's a better detective than I am. He's crazy smart. He's not the best fighter out of us, but he can hold his own and he can out think even Ra's al Ghul.

Jay's a better brawler. He's more willing to get out there and get things done physically. He's good at getting information out of people in low places and blending in there.

Steph's nearly as smart as Tim. Great at puzzles. And she's a world class shit talker. She's great at misdirection, getting people to look one way when she gets around their defenses.

And Little D is a little shit. But he's coming into his own.

[Dick leans forward again, hands loose and expression empathetic. Because he's been there himself.]

But you know what none of them are, Dick?

[ He listens carefully, just letting it sit for a moment. Maybe things would be different for him. Maybe Bruce would listen, maybe Jason would have backup against the Joker. Dick tries not to ruminate on it. Here and now, he can listen. He can try.

The more the other Dick talks, the more he realizes that the other Dick has seen through him. With a quiet sigh. ]

What's that?

[ There's a tone to his voice: better be really convincing because I'm nowhere near convinced. ]

The best Robin.

[Dick raises an eyebrow at that.]

Don't get me wrong. We aren't, either. You and me? We're the first. The standard. The "Golden Boy", as Jay likes to remind me so much. [There's an eye roll, but only because it annoys him to be called that. Even if he knows it's kinda true.] We're the one that the others are going to be compared to, but none of us are the best. We're Robin. All of us get to decide what that means for us.

[ Yeah he's not really feeling the pick-me-up pep talk. ]

Hooray, I showed up first. That's not an accomplishment.

[ Silly of him to think he's special at all. ]

[Dick huffs out a breath.]

I've had twelve more years to get used to this. Eight since Jay took up the cape. [He grimaces.] I've been Nightwing nearly as long as I was Robin at this point.

[Nobody do the math on that. Except Dick, who already knows.]

It's not that you're not special. It's also not that you're not a fantastic Robin, because you are. But you're not going to be Robin forever. You're going to be more than that.

[He pauses, considering how to phase what he wants to say. Which gives the waitress a chance to deliver their food. And Dick gets to stall another moment by chewing on a fry.]

I know it's weird, though. Finding out you go from being an only child to having so many younger siblings. And an entire new generation of heroes looking up to you.

[ Dick does the mental math and concludes the obvious-- his other self is ancient.

He toys with a fry half-heartedly. ]

I'm "going to be" more than that. I'm not, right now. I don't know how I'm supposed to fit into anything. It doesn't help that my "younger siblings" look at me like I'm, I don't know, fragile? Inexperienced?

[He only FEELS ancient. Especially next to this younger version of himself.]

[And he wonders if he was ever this insecure. Probably was. But it's different when you're the only one versus a family.]

They know you aren't. They weren't at your age, and they all know I wasn't at your age, either. But that doesn't negate our natural urge to protect the younger ones as best we can. We don't want you to get hurt, even if we logically know you can handle it.

[He picks up one of his own fries.] And we're all about to have an existential crisis about B, I'm certain.

[ Dick just sighs and takes a half-hearted bite of his fry. It makes sense, but it doesn't mean he has to like it. Once he finds his footing, maybe he'll appreciate it more. But, right now, he's just frustrated because he doesn't have everything squared away in his mind yet.

But the change of subject makes Dick give his older self a sympathetic look. ]

How are you doing with that?

[It's not really a change of subject, honestly. Or not much of one. They are connected in Dick's mind, at least.]

[Dick sighs, reaching for his coffee again.]

It's still weird. For me, part of it is just him being so young. Even if I know that, logically, he wasn't that much older than he is now when we met. But he's so young and awkward in ways I never saw. Either because he consciously kept me from seeing the awkward or because something happened between this age and when we met that made things different.

[ Dick takes a bite of his sandwich and chews thoughtfully. ]

It's not as big of a leap for me age-wise, but he's different from what I experienced too. It's like his introversion is cranked up to eleven.

[ He sighs. ] Without Alfred, it's gonna be rough on him.

Being without Alfred is going to be rough on all of us.

[And he's pretty sure he's able to keep the twinge of sadness out of his voice and face. Even if he can rightly say that it's just because Alfred isn't here. Without saying that he's not back home, either.]

And you're not wrong about the introversion. I mean, we've always known he was an introvert who could make himself be an extrovert. But I'm not sure he's learned that trick yet.

Yeah.

[ The younger Dick doesn't do as good of a job hiding his twinge of sadness. He never thought he'd actually be without Alfred or Bruce. ]

Maybe he hasn't had to. Or something happened that makes it particularly difficult for him.

[ With a small sigh. ] He's even worse at expressing emotion than usual too. It's like he panics if he relaxes too much.

[Dick grimaces, shaking his head.]

I'm not sure. Whatever the reason, it's probably a major difference between his world and ours. [Since the younger Dick seemed to be from a world fairly close to his own in some ways, at least.] A B who isn't as much a part of Gotham as his alter ego is unusual enough as it is.

And since Bruce Wayne wouldn't have any power or influence here the way he does in Gotham, there's no reason for him to try. [ Dick sighs again as he bites into his sandwich. ]

[Dick picks up his burger, taking a bite to give himself a chance to think while he chews.]

He has about eight reasons now, though he doesn't quite see it that way. Which means we're just going to have to gently encourage him into interacting with people. [A pause.] I'd say 'again', but I have no idea if this one ever did much interact with people other than Alfred.

He will, eventually. We're an unknown quantity and we know a lot about him-- or about a version of him close enough to make him nervous.

[ Dick chews on a fry. ] And it's B. I think he wants to care about us, in spite of himself.

[Dick picks up his burger, taking a bite. Because it's an easy way to buy a little time to think and figure out what he wants to say.]

I think he does, too, but I don't think he knows what to do with that feeling yet. It's too new, and you know how B is. He'll analyze that feeling within an inch of its life, until he knows whether he can trust it or not. And then he'll probably hold onto it a little longer, just to make certain.

Hopefully he won't take too much time. He needs us, especially since he's so new to the nightlife.

[ Bruce is good-- he always has been-- but nothing can substitute for experience. ]

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